Outing with Alvin and Ivan.

Went out with Alvin and Ivan today. Been really long since I last saw them, so it was nice to catch up with them. Haha had a lot of fun chatting and we went to Suntec area there to get my laptop case for my Macbook pro. It was so overpriced loh!

I realized that when I am with people I am closer with, I tend to talk much more and be more myself. Haha but also because we have done so much together le, activities start to become more boring as there isn’t much things left to do. So instead we just sit and chat about stuff.

Really missed the times when we had so much we wanted to do.
Sometimes, I find that as humans, it is best that we do not just sit around and wait for things to happen. The world is out there, we should grab on to what ever we are given and make full use of it.

Is it a sin to love you?

I have been thinking ever since the day camp ended. That it was a sin to love you, that once more I fell for someone I shouldn't. But I can't control how i feel..

My life has changed so so much since I joined Poly. I have friends, alot of them. And they are all really fantastic people. But it really makes me smile when I think of you.
You and I come from different places, but deep down, i feel that you are so special. so different from everyone I ever met...even MN. Because you are so innocent, so perfect.

However, I loved MN..even now as i think back...she really was someone I loved..so much so that I was blinded and overlooked all her flaws. That was my mistake, I should never have fallen for someone who had a personality that was not ideal for me.. still I loved her...and I got hurt.

Now, I have an even greater fear of falling for you..because you seem to be that distant star that I can never reach.. but one's heart is greedy...and..I want you.

FMS FOC CAMP!

Hey I am back from foc camp! Haha it was great, though I still find NPSU FOC the best!
Staying at the loft was really awesome to the max! Its was so freaking comfortable!! Totally like a chalet!haha the mass dances were fun and so were the games! haha really happy that i fulfilled some of my wishes. haha being selected to be the best dancer again is like a dream sia...i freaking love it. heehee i sound so proud loh. heehe but i happy mah. haha somemore i got to know alot of friends. Btw, the ratio of girls to guys there is like 4:1. so heehee get my point??

Haha i think tats all for the camp stuff. Throughout the camp i was actually hoping i would get to see her even though she wasn't in FMS. But she had her own school induction camp so she would also be in school..and guess what?? today, on the last day before I went back, I decided to go Makan Place and have lunch. Midway, I spotted her and she also saw me and I was so thrilled!! becos she was like waving very crazily and was like telling me to go over!! So so happy inside knowing that she was happy to see me. even though we only spoke for like 2 mins. It made my day. seeing her walk off and see her back...i felt like just going up and stopping her.

Sentosa Mass Outing!!

Haha today was a really fun and crazy day!!!
haha went to Sentosa for mass outing, but 400 people at Harbourfront is way too packed, so hersheys decided to meet later at 11am. I met up with Huda first and went to Resort world's coffee bean there to find the rest. Haha about half of hersheys was there bah. Quite cool to just sit there and chill. haha after that we made our way to beach station but sadly it was raining cats and dogs!! haha so the bunch of us being crazy, decided to just walk in the rain but it was so fun!!! haha after that, we felt a little bored at siloso beach as there were too many people, so we headed down to palawan instead and went to KOFU there to makan! haha really had fun there! Met up with the rest and also her at Beach station!! haha then we went back to siloso to play!! haha did alot of crazy stuff and even got dragged and carried into the sea by the camp crews!!!! got super wet but it was fun!!

Haha after that me, ryan, yingying and her left for awhile to go eat some snacks. Really loved the times spent there..haha after that we had dinner at Vivo and then we went home.

Thoughts of the day...
1...sometimes it really saddens me when I see all my friends have dinner and eat well, while I sit beside them and can only watch them eat...cos I can't afford it...why?? why must things be like this? but its ok, Cos being with them makes me happy le. And thats what matters.


2. I duno how you feel about me but it really makes me smile alot when I realize that the only persons you talk to most is yingying and me. And it really makes me happy when you walk beside me and talk to me and just it is just the 2 of us at the back of the group...I just hope you dun treat me as a younger brother or anything....I hope you treat me as a matured friend, a friend you wan to go to when you are sad or happy.
Today, the whole time, I kept telling myself that I couldnt keep sticking to you, cos I would make it obvious..but I really like watching you just stand there..you really are my perfect angel. I have always hoped I could meet someone like you and finally I found you... you know when you looked me in the eyes and told me that we should hang out often and you asked if I wanted to watch a movie tgt with you, My heart jumped.
I was gleaming like a fool inside...
I hope to see you soon.


3. I guess as long as we stick true to ourselves and what we believe in, one day, all our hard work will pay off. Right now, I can see my life starting to shine like how i want, but that star is still far away. To make my life the way I wan, I will work hard.

ORCHARD OUTING!!

Ok, Didn’t blog yesterday. Cos I was angry. But dun feel like talking about it. Talk about the happy things bah.
Yesterday went to Ngee Ann to install the software’s for my Macbook pro. Before that there was a movie screening of clash of the Titans, 1981 version!!! Its was super retarded. But it was interesting to watch purely cos of its stupidness. Haha I guess the best part was that many Hershies came!!! So it was great to see them again. Haha but it was almost all guys so a little boring lah, haha but we talk and laughed like hell!!!
Haha after the software installation, I went to join the rest at Orchard 313. They were shopping there. I joined the girls at Forever 21 and felt so out of place loh!!! Like me and 7 girls!!!! Haha but it was fun lah, they were all playing around. After awhile, I went to find the guys at Long John. Haha talk a lot of crap but it was fun. Haha headed down to Cineleisure and Akim and wenjie totally threw all of our face lah!!! They were like randomly saying hi to all the girls that walked past them!!!! Haha but it was good fun.
Haha after that we all as one big group walked to Raffles city. The journey was far but it really was great to walk in one big group like that. Haha after that we played in a giant field in front of the esplanade. Haha we camwhored a lot then we all went our own ways. A fun day, I will say.
But…throughout the day, kind of wanted to see her. Sadly she was working..but that just makes me like her more….cos while everybody is playing, she is not… That set me thinking, why on earth did I quit March last time???
Looking forward to tmr, cos will be going for sentosa outing and she is going:) she was like telling me that she felt so excited for the outing! And tmr like, jianing is not going and yingying also….so the next person she talks to is……me☺ I feel bad saying it like tat, but it’s the fact that I wan to spend tmr with her. Like make fun of her and play with her..
For the past week I have been thinking to myself that I could not fall for her cos….she is older…I guesss a lot of people cannot accept that fact. But…the more I thought of her, the more happier I felt. And the sadder I felt too. But Rina told me some stuff and it really helped.. Thanks Rina.
I guess MN’s incident affected me badly, that is why I cant trust anyone as easily as before but I really wan to go back to my old self. Maybe, just maybe, she can help me open up.
Said too much. Will end my post. Post tmr bah. Nights.

Esplanade with Rina!

Haha today went to Library@Esplanade with Rina. The library is so awesome, its the best, the quietest. Haha it was really really nice to just sit there and have chats with her, been really long since I last talk to anyone about anything at all. Really really want to just sit there forever and forget about everything..

As I sat there, I told myself that I think it really is time to let you go.. I will treasure the relationship we once had, and for everything you have once given me, I say: Thank you.

Right now, I finally feel happy after so long... Its nothing complicated...I am happy cos now everything is simple..and its when things are simple that we can truly appreciate life most beautiful things..

I have friends, both old and new. I have my school, my goals and I have my motivation. despite everything life has thrown at me, in the end, I survived. With a smile.






I miss the times in sec 1 and 2, where we friends could play like there was no tmr.
I miss the times in sec 3, where I got punished in class for not listening and almost retaining.
I miss the times in sec 4 where we would all go to school early in the morning to mug!
I miss the feeling of achievement when I know that I have got the results I wanted.
I miss the times when we 3 brothers hang out so often and happily.
I miss the times where we did crazy things in the airport.
I miss the times where I worked like a dog at Marche.
I miss the times where me and my brothers talked about our ambitious future!
I miss those times...

But now,I guess the past is the past, so lets embrace the future. and lets smile. cos no matter what, Life will be awesome:) We just have to make it awesome.

I am happy.

After everything, I feel happy. Finally, I am over my school and a new beginning is just starting for me.

There is a saying that if one owns something, one would eventually lose it.
And that is why, I chose to stay like this with you. It makes my day, everyday I get to msg you and you reply cheerfuly. Although I know its only been only a week, but I never met someone as perfect as you before. And I wan you to stay that way. So i chose to keep my distance, to preserve the good image I have of you. I am afraid to dwell further as I am afraid you are not whom I tot you are. I don't want history to repeat itself and make the same mistakes as before.

Despite what some may say, I still can't help but slowly like you more and more. Its still just a crush, but as time goes by, I will not be sure whether it will stay just as a crush..
I kept telling myself its impossible between us, and that it was a sin to fall for you...but deep down, I secretly prayed that you would at least enjoy my companionship.

You are my perfect angel, and you are the second girl to make me feel this way. The first time round, I was fooled and inexperience and rushed things...and got hurt becos if it.

Now, 1 year later, I have grown up and have matured more. I just wan to be your close friend, someone you would go to when you are sad or happy. And I wan to change for the better becos of you.

I have a crush on you.